This is the TIME…?

This is the time. I think…

I always have this image of me working from home doing.. stuff. Cool stuff. Like designing classic wardrobe, sew and sell them online. Making sing-a-long music or nursery rhymes since I prefer to hear children singing cute songs rather than “Baby..! Baby..! Baby…oohhhh” but I don’t think it’s going to happen because my own nephews are loving it. Or do carpentry works as if I own a house with big lawn to do all those remarkable arts and like it’s easy to get raw materials here in KL.

Last two weeks, my 8-years-old baby nephew was diagnosed with Berkitt Lymphoma- a type of cancer. Devastating. I felt a punched on my heart, what more my sister.

Now, here I am. Full time babysitting or nursing little Afiq at home. A working jobless lady.

I have resigned from my super fun job in December 2012 due to “irreconcilable differences”. Next day after my resignation, another one bit the dust. The day after that, another one! And another… and it keeps on going until the number hit 8 or 9. I can’t remember.

So… anyhoooo. Yup, now I am jobless. Saying it again sounds like Topless. Okay, focus you Working Jobless Lady!

Between taking care of cancer patient and trying to find any luck of Work-from-home job, I tend to procrastinate, but with good conscience. When there’s nothing to do while he’s asleep, instead of switching on my laptop I decided to sweep the designated room, mop the floor with Dettol disinfectant liquid, and recite prayers for him. Draw dragons and cartoon characters on a piece of coloured papers and turn them into motivational card.

This whole scenario is not a conducive mood for me to actually want to start finding a job.

Then came a prophecy of mine, Does GOD create us and bring us to the world to study and get excellent results just to get a job that pays…?

??

p/s: I am still thinking of something to do at home that can generate something……?!

Music and waves

Alone time
yes it’s time to rhyme..

Music and waves
we are all God’s slaves.

Music and Sun
with that only you’ll be guaranteed a day filled with fun!

Waves through the heat of sun
follow the music as the beats makes you run.

You decide your own music
You decide to choose
you can work hard and be sick
or take a break from life and look at things to amuse…

You, you and you
can decide.

have a break!
have a pet cat!

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Men…

…from the past? OR
…of the past?

If you are grammatically alert like me *cough cough* these two make huge difference. Very very huge difference. Right, maybe I’m overreacting when i say “very very..”

One may not get it but if you look back – which i do a lot! – you’ll get where I’m heading to.

Man from the past can also be ‘Cover-me-i-dont-want-him-to-see-me’. Either he or she herself screwed up once upon a time ago in a galaxy far far away…

But man OF the past, to some, means something…and when i say something it doesn’t have to be special. Okay okay i’m indenial. USED TO be special but life goes on… forward. So forward march we all go.

What I’ve learned from these men is that there is no point of a) running away or to hide far away to an island b) make up stories that you have someone else c) say your parents disagree with them though the truth is they love him to bits!

All you got to do is where those pants and BE A MAN! ahah! .. yes, to fight with man you oughta BE the man.

I’ve hid in a cave, disconnect my networks virtually or not, stop going to my regular spots…BUT there HE is. Standing. Not looking at me. I saw him of course and gosh I blushed. Not that I have any feelings, it’s just plain awkward.

Instead of ignoring and sped off, I decided to approach him and hey you know what – you feel lighter by gazillion times. Conscience cleared.

Here I am, thus far… happy feeling so righteous.

La nouvelle moi~

NEW THEME!
NEW ME!
NEW NEW NEW!

Blergh.. Naah, just the same ol’ me with a change of profile theme.
*Certain posts may be irrelevant – the one where i said my blog was just plain ol’ white page with loads of blabbering.*
Fact is, it STILL Is!

That’s one thing I know about me and has recently stopped denying it – it is okay to like changes.

People talk about, even better Joey McIntyre sings about the subject matter: Stay The Same.

I wouldn’t want to be the same.
I wouldn’t want to be the accommodating person who is actually in pain.
I wouldn’t want to be the one who always follow the crowd to show she is sane.

I am no different, for I am just not the same.
I am no serious, for I am now not taking the blame.
I am no forward-looking, for I am living the present with fiery flame!

Try something new yet?

I did!

~ Read the Condolences section in the newspaper. (fun. So happened there’s one big shot’s mom passed away. more than 5 pages if i didn’t miscount)
~ Wake up and do the forward roll. (dizzy)
~ Talk to your rabbit. Like the talk talk. (awkward)
~ Wear nice fancy ensemble with no plans to go out. (fancy)

*GRIN*

Those atypical thoughts that worth sharing.

Circle the answers

Scenario 1:- Office Toilet.
Have you ever notice, that when someone else walks into the Ladies, even after you have answered the Nature’s Call, you would just keep quiet and sit on the toilet bowl, wondering looking at the ceiling… until she walks out?
A. Yes! Oh that’s me! B. No. (Keeps on flushing)

Scenario 2:- In public.
You are on the phone with your homey/bestie, displaying sorts of animated acts while walking in a public area and abruptly the line got disconnected. You are left staggering and fake a conversation between you and yourself. Concurrently, the phone rings. Oops.
A. he he. Bad acting? B. Why would one be bothered?

Back to Scenario 1:- Office Toilet.
Before that, there’s a person in one of the cubicles. You somehow sense that it was of the same nature of calling. When it’s your turn to walk out, you purposely linger and taking your own sweet time washing your hand – adding more terror to the person who were there before you.
A. I just did that! B.Good Gawd, who would ever think of that?

The short expedition of life.

An avenue to write and to be a celebrity and to be nominated under the “Freak Writer” category is what i hope for.

An avenue for people of the border-less cyber world to stumble upon random reading material written by an ordinary girl with small dreams that guarantees a whole lot of self satisfaction. That’s my aspiration – at least.

* * *
To get you plan and act unto achieving your dream(s) is not what i’m about to do. That’s just the prelude. Trust me, you do not want to hear me start babling about life’s philosophy for i strongly believe in this: “The teacher appears when the students are ready”. Sleep and dream of it. If you don’t get it…well, raise your hand Kid!

Anyhoo, after a month break from the 3 meals plus snacks-in-between daily schedule and not forgetting the hormonal traffic of the Klang Valley or Kl or Selangor or say, the whole City area of Malaysia – one thing i could think of before i lay my head on the flat pillow is “I’m going to work by LRT tomorrow. Period.”

* * *
I always look forward to taking the LRT – that it really induced me to be mentally and emotionally prepared (and the physical will somehow manage to follow through) from the night before.

To put it in points, i enjoy the journey because…
1. you can never tell the possibility of getting a seat.
2. …and you won’t know until the time when you are willingly “forced” to offer the seat to those who deserve.
3. in the case of a positive outcome out of the event no.1, you get to read that thick book you are hopelessly trying to finish them.
4. the view of the many faces:
    a) frowned (husband/parents who doesn’t want to send them)
    b) sleepy (the only alternative left to get to the office on time)
    c) bored (there’s no way my bicycle could get me there on time with both legs still     functional)
    d) sweaty (slept late, wake up late, running late – must i tell the dominos effect?)
    e) fart refraining (yeah, i can see my reflection from the window)
    f) …and other unfortunate events. (those are the fun ones to witness)

* * *

*Bells and voice recording playback* Kampung Baru
View: Everyone still seating/standing looking down. Some busy looking for their ticket or Touch’N’Go card. Others are at their own state of mind. One or two swaying heads bumping into neighboring shoulders.

*Bells and voice recording playback* Stesyen berikutnya, Kay El See See. Next Station, Kay El See See
And may the rat race begins…

View: Everyone just stood up like receiving a command from the Chief Commander and gluttony finding their way to the nearest door with straight face and looking so innocent like they are not the one who pushed me to fight for that little space! Me? No… lesson learned. I let loose all the bulls and rats go before me, i’d be the one to stop the door from closing. Ouch – worth the pain.

“Yeay! I’ve made it early to work today! Plus, i get the seat to myself throughout the 30 minutes excursion!!” me, while doing a jumping jack.

pickyerass (picturesque)

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no words flowing through
just mere images of happiness.
well as long as i have people like you, you and you
oh, how many times do i have to say i am Blessed.

♪♫ How sweet it is…

..to be loved by you ♫♫♪
- By James Taylor.

oh, here’s the link in case you might want to take a listen to it.

I have been writing back and forth, typed 3 words and backspaced 5 blocks. Everything is scattered (just like my brain). For now, this is all i want to share. This song.

Love you Rach, Buddy! Materialistically, thank you for the Oh!some card.

Spiritually, mentally, religiously, sentimentally – thank you God for sending me a friend who’s been there through all the good, bad and ugly events.

Till then, soon!

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